When you dreamed of happily ever after what did you dream? A whirlwind romance? A wedding. Traveling the world? Kids? Other big, grand moments?
What about the in-between moments? I’m going to wager a guess that those moments weren’t accounted for in your dreams of happily ever after.
When it comes down to it. It’s the day to day that makes up most of your marriage, not the big moments. Hard days at the office, car repairs and grocery store runs. Not quite the magical relationship you had in mind.
So, what’s a girl to do?
To love and to cherish
Chances are, to love and to cherish (or a version of it), was recited during your wedding vows. Have you ever stopped to really consider how this vow applies to your marriage on a day to day basis?
I’m not doubting that you love your spouse. Not at all! However, as you navigate through the day to day and those big romantic moments happen less and less are you showing your spouse that you love and cherish them on a daily basis?
But, my spouse knows how I feel, why do I need to make the effort?
All relationships take constant work. If you’re not putting time into your relationship it can’t grow. This is true for marriage as well as any relationship. Bottom line: if it’s important to you, you need to make an effort.
By showing your spouse that you care you are telling them the following:
- You are important to me
- I care about you
- I want to spend my time showing you how I feel
- Any potential doubts about your feelings are squashed
- I want you in my life
- You are loved
Do you need to go big or go home?
No! While big romantic gestures are fun every now and then, it’s just not possible to make them a part of your daily routine. You would be exhaust and probably broke.
Don’t worry! Little, small acts of love can be just as powerful. Especially, if you are making the effort on a frequent basis.
5 Easy Ways to Show Your Spouse that You Care
1. Leave a note
Leave a sticky note on their steering wheel or dash. It doesn’t need to be a love poem or declaration of love (although it certainly could be). The goal is to let them know that they are on your mind. Ideas:
- A wish of luck for something challenging during their day
- Request a phone date over lunch, just to catch up
- Countdown to the weekend or a big event
- I love you
Food is essential to our survival. It can also be very personal. Chances are you and your spouse have a shortlist of your favorite dishes and restaurants. You may have their favorite lunch delivered to their office.
It will show them that you are not only thinking of them but that you pay attention to their preferences. So his will be an easy way to show your spouse you love and care for him.
If possible, try to join them for lunch. They will be so surprised!
3. Send a text
Send a quick text when something funny happens during the day. The content of the text isn’t as important as the actual sending of the text.
By sharing little bits of information that are happening when you are apart from each other you are building a bridge of communication between the two of you.
You are also showing your spouse that they are on your mind while you apart. This might seem an easy tip to build a strong relationship after marriage. But trust me, it means a lot.
4. Arrange a movie night
If you’re thinking right now, we hang out and watch TV together most nights. There are some cheap date night ideas at home but the movie night is the most popular among them. How is this going to be special? Hear me out!
Are you old enough to remember video rental stores? Browsing the video store with my husband when we were dating would happen on a weekly basis. We both had our favorites, of course. Often times we would compromise and find some sort of romantic comedy that we would both enjoy. That’s not what I’m suggesting you do here.
Thinking of only your spouse, rent or download a movie that they would pick. Acquire their favorite snacks and sit down to enjoy their movie and snacks with them.
Now, I know it’s probably not your cup of tea, but resist the urge to phone surf during the entire film. Actually, watch the movie and be present with them. It will mean a lot to them that you did this, even if they don’t say anything. You are using your time to be with them, doing something they like. Trust me, it matters.
Chances are, you divide and conquer the household chores. We all have our least favorite chores, as do our spouses. Proactively do one of their least favorites while still tackling everything on your list. Resist the urge to say anything! Don’t seek out a thank you!! Go ahead and let them discover your nice gesture all on their own. They will be SO happy!
The bottom line here is that in order to have and continue to have a great marriage, you need to be kind to your spouse on a regular basis.
The best way to do this is for them to see you actively using your free time to chose them. It communicates to them that you care about them, they are important to you, and that you want them to be in your life.
They need to know, without a doubt that you love them. So show them!
This Content has originally written by Nicole Cline and published on Feb 10, 2020. No Copyright/IPR breach is intended.